Ouch!

First, we have Prez BHO. When he isn't talking for dollars/talking for lies, he is probably somewhere. He taught us that if you turn the other cheek often enough, not only will you accomplish very little but your head will unscrew off.
Is Buddy Roemer the perfect write-in candidate for 2012?
Then we have Ron Paul Ron Paul. They have tried to make him invisible, but he just won't do it.
And then there is the Acrylic Mitt Mutt. As a piece of moldable plastic, he can withstand cold calls, heated money arguments, and lukewarm receptions without changing his hair gel. How about those puppy problems, though, and do the puppies have offshore accounts?
And lastly, Dear Mrs. G c/o the Newter Yourself Foundation: Heads up, Number 3. When your open marriage welcomes an arms dealer, chances are that you will get elbowed out of the bed. Ouch!