Stuckwood

Toyota San gets a bit confused when he ponders how the Japanese use his vehicles versus how the Americans do. He wonders if Americans know the proper use of a computer death system.

They should name a garbage dump after Reagan, not a mountain.

Which former speechifying v.p. has been kept alive artificially for over a decade?

Which rag targets the age group that financially supports it with fear?

Moving on Catholics who walked away ask - Will the church ask for forgiveness?

From the old Woodstock to the new Stuckwood, it is all a downhill race.

Mr. Robertson Says

Mr. Robertson says that when God rains down His blizzards upon Washington D.C., He is mad at politicians.

Mr. Robertson says that when God rains down His blizzards upon Massachusetts, He is mad at voters.

Mr. Robertson says his reel name is Harris Pecks,
Mr. Harris Pecks, that is.

Mr. Robertson, alias Mr. Harris Pecks,
Makes his reputation studying entrail wrecks.
In lieu of checks,
Send him chicken necks.
He can work on lifting a god's payback hex.

Freedumbo

My grandmother made this 85 years ago. Nobody ever spilled anything on it before.

Can you replace your own knee cap? Tell your doctor.

I have no intention of stepping down. Wait a minute. I'm not standing on anything.

Only 30 Senators think Ben Bernanke should be fired. Go 30!

Advice: Always shake out your shoes. Always check out the trees. Don't love your organs.

What is wong, Wong? What is white, Wong? What is wit, Wong? What is wong with white wit, Wong?

Did Mr. Cohen and the people who voted for him freak out the
Illinois combine? It sure can move fast when it wants to.

He said he was going to Poconos & did I want to go along. I said, poke a nose? Haven't we done all this before & does violence ever really work. He said, honey, we're living on 2 different planets. I said, don't you know it.

Jackass the animal
and
Elephantiasis the passe
Take time stealing a handful
Claiming their manifest cachet.

Is Yaz VonBayer a prostitute
for the man
& a serial killer for the side effect?

The Stockholm Syndrome: Has John McCain adopted
the "principles" of his captors?

Whose voice breaks glass & her own thought patterns?

Someone Got Tagged

The anti-personnel frag mag
Is okayed by the lowest and a jag
Off-putting how they're starting to brag
That it's always been their bag.
Witch whispers say a nag & a hag
Wrote an old con creed on a dirty old rag
The lowest & the jag added in some slag
And voila!
The anti-personnel frag mag.
*
Did they celebrate with a shag, a zigzag & a fag?
(old school take off on a straight cigarette & a square?)
*
What do they pay you for?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9CxT48jIgI&feature=related

Other Stuff

You know what they say about corn syrup? They say that first the corn plant was and is mutated to stand tall against sprayed poisons, then it is liquified with more unnecessary and unhealthy chemicals into a glucose syrup which is injected into anything that stands still long enough, then we eat it and drink it for calories with no food value. They also say that beet sugar has food value.
*
He got free rides in from Hog Wallow Haven every other week. He sat and took up some space. Then he got free rides back home to Hog Wallow Haven. His successor came from inside an oyster's mouth. Where he'll go back to is anybody's guess. We have to stay.
*
The possibilities seem endless. If you wish to be "post racial and black for an hour," chris will assist. If you want to be pre-common sense and highlight a yellow stripe, as you fear my dear.
If you care to be concurrently homogeneous and pentabulously
5-colored, proceed and be freed.
*
When Dull, Null & Lull won over Cull & Hull to their downslide, the other four had to go suck eggs. At least that's what their faces said, but please don't talk about faces. Null & his associate don't like faces. Wait until they find out that their last work day was in the past and their next work day is in the future. It will blow what they have left.

RepubliCornSmut

Since the hostile merger of the decaying republican age with the mutated corn syrup age, everything it touches turns to republicornsmut, blindfold-financed by us through the whiners, illegally recorded, and quite medicated for continuity purposes only. You will pay and pay for this announcement.
You don't want to know how.

Memo re: Pleased to March Marching Orders

cc: F*x, See An N, & young republicans everywhere

First, please continue to omit vital information from your social propaganda.
For example, repeating the phrase
"haters who voted for Obama"
is excellent. Nobody will notice the crucial word
"fear"
has been removed.
Fear haters who voted for Obama changes the whole dynamic,
don't you see.
Second, please continue to speak someone else's words,
rather than your own.
Lastly, please continue voting
against
your own good health & welfare.