Take-Offs and Landings

Homemade shoulder-mounted potato launchers hurt people. Guns don't hurt people. Therefore, potatoes will be banned from all public spaces unless they are mashed. Anyways, don't their eyes give you the creeps? Another ban announcement: Humans and animals will be banned from creating fertilizer. Thank you for your cooperation. You will be monitored for quality control purposes only.

Lights on the Lie-Berry
or
the Arteest within the Beast enjoys his Feast

From MayoRahM's mouth to our ears: Bribes do not mean jack sh*t to me. I like them. I take them. I put them in my pocket. Then I do exactly what the wealthy takers tell me to do. Witness me close public schools for the takers' cause, but not for bribes. When they do it, we don't like to call them bribes. Like I said, I accept bribes, but they don't mean jack sh*t to me.
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Thank the god of greed that the rich will no longer have to worry quite so much about their own safety during take-offs and landings.